im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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