i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
