im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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