good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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