No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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