Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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