so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
