I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
