My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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