Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
