"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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