Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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