yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
