Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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