So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
