At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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