I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
