i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize