Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i think i have two assholes
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
