so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
