You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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