do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
