dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
