if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
