hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
