the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
