clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize