But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize