Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
