Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
