I think i peed on brittanys purse
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
