just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
