I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
