I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize