I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
