we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I can text with my tongue
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
