omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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