Did you just see the Batmobile???
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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