The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Randomize