i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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