Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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