stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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