All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When did angry sex become our thing?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
