I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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