glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
