just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
