Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
