i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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