Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
