thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
