The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
third nipple confirmed
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
