we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
