went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
