Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize