In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
