i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
