Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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