Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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