And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
