She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
