break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
