soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
