Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
