I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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