hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
