If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
