I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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